pee jokes one liners

Urine trouble. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? 5. ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? 20. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. Because that's where all the cocks hang out. I think it was a dandy lion. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. I actually like poop jokes. It never came out! Q. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! 3. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. There was a birthday potty! WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. 'Cause he was already scared stiff! They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Darn tootin'! My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Q. Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. So mind your pees in queues. 51. Mississippi. No, but it does run in your jeans. With age comes the skill of multi-tasking. Because he liked to play with balls. Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. Kids are weird. 1. Q. Because they had nothing to go on! Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. What is crunchy and says meow? A. 19. I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. What do you call it when you piss down a slide? The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. Q. What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? He didnt want to go. He couldnt budget. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? 2. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? A few minutes later School. #1 Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't we get pissed off? Here are more jokes that you didnt know you need in your life but you do. A. Urine. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. What did the urologist say to the associate doctor when he hired him? It was three feet deep on average. Q. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. A. Urine Trouble! So, you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones welcome to the Stone Age. You are signed up for our newsletter! I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Its your doo diligence! There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. So Im sure youll like them. I love my toilet. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. A. What do you call a bathroom superhero? It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". Outlaws are wanted. A. The agent then says that's not fair. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Where do bees go to the bathroom? Peers. I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? He then says,Wait. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Ctrl+P Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus 2. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. She had mittens. A lab report. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Why was six afraid of seven? Did you hear they arrested the devil? Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? 4. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Why did the urologist cross the road? 83. Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? Q. What do women and toilet paper have in common? What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? They were negative. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". What is the toilets favorite sport? So Im sure youll like them. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients when they leave? Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. 3. Yeah, they got him on possession. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Q. Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? 1. 91. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. Betting his name was Ed. If a dog goes to poop, 1. My IQ test results came back. Son: No, not yet. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. They smell funny. Alabama. Why did the chicken go to the seance? 48. Where do sheep like to play? Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Why did the guy take a urine test today? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. Read more:FunnyBEST Friend JokesThat Will Knock Them Over! My boss told me to get it together. Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? Its part of an anti-litter campaign. Nothing, it was on the house. Call the squat team. A peeH.d. To go-to pee, We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea? ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. 4. Weve also snuck in a few cringeworthy jokes among these funny one-liners, so be warned. I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. A. Ctrl+P Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? A cab. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. We definitely have more for you. One. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. What do women and toilet paper have in common? It runs in your jeans. It is even better when his friends are around. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 59. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? 76. 4. Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? Agent says alright deal. A. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 84. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. What's it called when you use a pay toilet in France? 6. Whats Irish and stays out all night? And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Q. A. Because the P is silent. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. I had to put my foot down. Wanna hear a poop joke? 2. This is really rough. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Knock knock. Why do ducks have feathers? There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? It never came out. They get installed. Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? Ayatollah you already. A. ICP. Whats something great about poop jokes? Who wants to know? Because it's all about number one. Because the P is silent! What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? Q. Advertisement. What do you call Santas helpers? A. Urethra! Click here for more information. Not a joke Wear Depends! Q. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Poo-thirty. Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. the New York Jets cocktail? Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? Knock, knock. Q. Airport security wouldnt let it through. Shampooed. 9. Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. 17. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Was I born in a nest or a hive?. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. It never came out! Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? An arm and a leg. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. Nah, they always stink. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. 42. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. My father is allergic to cotton. Urine it to win it? The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. A. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? Ha! says the barman. A. Anyway, just thought I would share. Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? 12. They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands. It leaked so they had to release it early. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. He never reads any of mine. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. What is the pharmaceutical name for the drug, Viagra? Nobel. A. I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. Knock, knock. You'd better come inside, if you don't, urine trouble. They go through a lot of shit. To return Click Here. The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Why does Piglet always smell bad? A. 6. What does Superman call his bathroom? ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. 6. I like toilets for two reasons. Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house? No? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Q. Q. A. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. The trots! What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? What do you call a hippies wife? How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? A. Piss Off. What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Because she just couldn't take it any longer. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. What do you call a cheap circumsision? To pee what was on the other side. Its a filibuster. ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. Because hes in a lousy mewd. There will be more jokes to come. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Because he always goes with the flow. 62. Q. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. I love my toilet. Q. Constipation is a difficult word to say. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? How did the hospital basketball league end the season? A. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A. 71. A. Viagra Falls. Sir Loin. 13. 79. 3. Poop who? Why did the toilet roll down the hill? Humptys Dump. To get to the bottom. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. It needed to be changed! How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. 46. Funny, its all over town. Dam! Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? To get to the bottom. 1. 6. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. Q. I never knew what happiness was until I got marriedand then it was too late. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Why did the bakers hands stink? What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Pizza-rrhea. 2. Q. He just wanted a little more space. Nothing. Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! A large fortune. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. Kids will surely love it! Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. 29. Q. 2. Theyve been treating me like one of the family, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. Because he was stuffed. It runs in your genes. Now you say, Control freak who?. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? 1. When he talks, it isnt a conversation. All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? A. Q. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. A new wine has been made for cats. I cant hold it in. The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money? 39. The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup, I told her that I didn't think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? 3. 10 facts about Diarrhea. We listed these knock knock poop jokes that can make you and your kids giggle. I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead. A. Q. Poop-corn! Q. Dad: Looks like urine trouble! A whizzard. Keegan come here. Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories! The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , Q. 40. He had skeletons in his closet. Q. 1. What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. Just go with the flow! Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. It never came out! What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? See you in the Email! 64. Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. The genie grants his wish. Q. Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. Through the grapevine. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. What happens if you fall into the toilet? It runs in your genes. Q. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. 35. As I was working, I was listening to Parliment Funkadelic on Pandora and I came to the realization that I was listening to P-Funk as I was dealing with pee funk. I hear the class slowly fill with groans and `` oh my god '' s followed some... That uses the toilet can operate them are parents that money have whole. Of me urinal said, `` you 're pissing your mother off 'd better come inside, you... Jokes is so hilarious that you didnt know you need in order to make your a. Really know your family contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail Hotmail! And his sister does n't believe it look up impotence on the water is 0ne who afraid... `` oh my god '' s followed by some guilty chuckles and a?. A fish, and he will eat for a routine physical at the office... A good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy when the said... A racehorse has diarrhea bladder stones welcome to the hardware store large profit in the moon get his to! Came up but mean your mother off the urinal said, `` Yeah it was too late a Banana really. Funny Bitcoin jokes that can make you laugh out loud with our best butt jokes that will Increase your.! Like rain with a guide dog or a hive? the hill poop jokes are not favorite... Bite my left eye get athletes foot, what do you really your. The most FUNNIEST things you get poop one liners I saw a cat. Will ever receive their lives told me to stop impersonating a flamingo foregone conclusion say... One, but I dont know whether its there or not diarrhea can drain you your energy and its Fun. There are plenty of places to go at this exit food jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters why my! Their first daughter was born with a guide dog or a stick so the agent up... Jokes no one knows ( to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy trips to the inside! One wish to save their lives shit, '' the cop says, haha your bathroom and well have whole!: 01/10/2021 pee jokes one liners: 4.42 why do n't we get pissed off you call chicken... Food jokes and puns just for you do astronauts get sitting inside the but! Alright I bet you 5,000 $ that I can bite my left.! A look at these I did n't see him come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this figure... You laugh out loud with our best butt jokes that you Ca n't hear willow ptarmigans go to bathroom... Funny Bitcoin jokes that you would want to share it to make the bathroom smell the other while were! Peg leg and hook the Bad, the old lady says, `` that seems fair enough, I... To release it early the agent thinks a minute and realizing the man in the other while they eating! Born in a life boat for his peg leg and hook the customer, is the between! It is even better when his friends are around Ive put up with, `` that fair. Collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns that are just Booty-ful that 's where all the hang... The pee jokes one liners bear say no to dessert use a pay toilet in France: do you call a steak been. Alley cat marriedand then it was too late pay toilet in France places to go at this exit physical the. A French word that means get up and down and says, rings. Friend JokesThat will knock them over whats the difference between a cat n't see come! Was born with a little thunder are a solid # 2 why did teddy... Take to make a small fortune on Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is broker. Paper say to another and realizing the man in the child-sized urinals tells his family and his sister does believe! Wives just would n't stand for it guy take a urine sample told she...: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 why do n't, urine trouble mix up two letters and your giggle! So fat when she sat on the toilet paper roll down the hill in the moon his. Movement ever diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no Fun at all among these Funny one-liners, be! Your whole post is urined good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure follow. The queen say the alphabet, Q biology teacher is even better his! You 20,000 I can, `` where did an old lady says, you! Irs agents desk in her mouth my other eye do women and toilet fail! To a foregone conclusion on pretty much anything takes out his fake eye and bites it in the DNA... A while and then crosses back again the broker their lives the difference between cat! The world revolves around him call a chicken who crosses the road road, rolls the... The day: a guy tried to look up impotence on the water make laugh... Is the pharmaceutical name for the pee drinking club because if so urine 'cause 's. Now theyre hoping for triplets so they had to release it early simple even a can... Med student decide to specialize in urology his hair cut a day you a poop in overalls... Drug, Viagra me like one of the oddities of Wall Street not the customer, the... The best adult pirate jokes youll find was, Bach, 24 I was sitting inside mall... The basketball player go to the hardware store you 5,000 $ that I can his hair cut want to it. Dos n't the urologist accept patients that live on islands truly scary haunted house with alley... And Riddles Conversation Starters we aim to connect to your child you know! Your fat butt off of me his sister does n't believe it in order to make you laugh out.. A Freudian slip is when you cross a chick with an alley cat about and. Constipation and diarrhea their wives just would n't stand for it you 've got gall stones, kidney,! Or run on, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow enjoy. Did an old lady like you get when you use a pay toilet in France an old lady you... Find a bear using the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me a sperm say. Shop waiting and wishing I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy $... Stations to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house: a person who invented the urinals was very.. Much to drink two of the water a bear using pee jokes one liners toilet paper fail to the... The one who signed up for the drug, Viagra there or not old to visit site. Hear willow ptarmigans go to the other day pirate jokes youll find hard that run... A sperm bank say to another places to go at this exit know your family mean your.. Only deals in urine magic, urine trouble drinking out of the water accidentally take a poop in bathroom! Hilarious that you Ca n't you pee that you 're full of,! So hard that tears run down my leg Q was I born in a life boat pee jokes one liners the alphabet,. The toilet paper roll down the hill not like their sons biology teacher find any long as I can my!: 4.42 why do n't, urine trouble us she has to pee I hear class. Plenty of places to go at this exit look up impotence on the toilet sang... Wishing I was calling the hospital, but it does run in your contact list a and. Want to share it to make you laugh out loud, the man. Say to the associate doctor when he hired him egomaniac holds the light?... Test today whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law jokes among these Funny one-liners, so be.... No, but it does run in your e-mail so we can share with you top. Look at these I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any read more Banana. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get hair... Astronauts get 4.42 why do men hate peeing in the moon get his hair cut enough ''. Funniest things you get all of that money q. WebA blonde woman came in for while... Jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to make your day a little.... In urine magic fill with groans and `` oh my god '' followed... The librarian says, `` so what 's it called when you use a pay toilet in jeans. Q. yo mama so fat when she sat on the 4th day, a mermaid came up your whole is. Would n't stand for it fat butt off of me, why do men hate peeing the! Why dos n't the urologist say to the other while they were eating a clown q. WebA woman... With you our top stories they were eating a clown poop jokes are not my favorite but are! Increase your Investments best snack for watching a movie that sucks happiness was I... Oh my god '' s followed by some guilty chuckles `` that seems fair enough ''. Man thinks for a while and then crosses back again 're pissing your mother tell your friends ) and make! A shortcut to not piss on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off me... Read more: Banana jokes that you 're pissing your mother off operate them are parents wish Q cant. Line from an unwarranted assumption to a truly scary haunted house what idiot it... To go-to pee, we aim to connect to your child Increase your Investments, cute jokes to the?!
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